The first night I was in the hospital with Joshua we laid down together in the hospital bed and Josh pressed his small body up tight and close to mine. My heart was so full and pure love flowed from my body. My mind was filled with the praise to God for every last moment I had been given as a mother to this child up until that very moment. Life is so beautiful and precious, I was/am thankful for every little bit of it that God grants me.
Coming home I was hit with an intense heaviness that was over taking me. I was attempting to listen to my friend chatter about different things and suddenly I just told her, “I can’t”. I thought that was it but she instantly knew that my despondency wasn’t me and she asked for permission to pray for me. I told her yes and mentally and physically checked out and went to try and take care of myself after sleeping over 14 hours and constant weeping the few hours I was awake. As I went to the kitchen for a drink I saw some garbage, used napkins and bread twists ties the kids didn’t throw away, and thought, “I can clean this”. I got my drink and then saw some scattered dishes on the table and counter. I thought,”I’ll clear these up”. Slowly, one thing lead to another and I had washed the dishes and cleaned the entire kitchen. I was cheerful and thinking about the kids. I remembered then Jen had prayed for me and I saw she had sent messages to my phone. She had prayed intercession on my behalf (LDS may use the terminology cast out), and I had truly felt my burden lifted without knowing it.
That day I grew into true joy, and that joy and excitement for life has stayed. I feel so grateful for my life’s journey, good or bad, and thankful for the attempts to try to be my best self in the moment whatever the circumstances. ❤️🦋🦄🌈
My perfection is learning that my life is perfectly framed for my own unique needs, and my experiencing that moment and allowing whatever part of myself the experience produces IS perfect and perfectly teaching me. I am medicine.
Breathings 