By first confronting the wounds of childhood that were endured and working through the pain, the sufferer will be able to relieve themselves of the burden of bearing the shame of the parent who was not there for them. By seeing the parent as suffering from their own traumas, as having a disease, victims can shift out of a victim mindset and instead, adopt a survivor and thriver mindset.
While the past is in the past, if victims don’t uncover the dynamics that led to the wounds, they will be stuck in a never-ending cycle of confusion, just trying to get validation from others. This sets them up to seek out relationships with narcissistic people who will perpetuate the pattern. Recovery includes healing the wounds of childhood and filling the deep hole in the soul that leaves victims feeling empty and estranged. It is identifying beliefs that were blindly created in order to make sense of the pain such as “I am unlovable”, “I am unworthy”, or “I am an embarrassment” etc. It is reconnecting with the inner child and giving oneself the much-deserved love they never received.
As recoverers revive their true and authentic selves, they are empowered with the realization that no one is responsible for healing but themselves. Once this is acknowledged, they can build a more healthy, sustainable life. While one may be a victim of their past, there is always an opportunity to Be The Cause (R) of a better future. By Yitz Epstein
https://psychologicalhealingcenter.com/narcissism-and-the-abandonment-wound/
Breathings 